The Dark Knight Rises Notes

    Prelude

  • Concession patron tried to sell me a medium sized popcorn, I asked if I looked like two people ... *forever alone*
  • Despite my best efforts to elude a crowd for my viewing pleasure, there were more children in my theater than the average New York City classroom.
  • Previews were nothing special, Man of Steel teaser doesn't lend itself to anticipation.
  • Main Attraction

  • In what amounts to be a serious drama, a flimsy woman physically overpowering trained brutes is as egregious as the Wilhelm scream.
  • See the gun fire, hear the gun fire, see a body lying on the ground; no blood besides facial paint, not sure if The Dark Knight Rises was PG or PG13.
  • The Dark Knight > The Dark Knight Rises
  • Inception > The Dark Knight Rises
  • The caped crusader illusion did not work for me this time around, the hype certainly didn't help; Final score, one out of three somethings, very unfair of me.
  • Extracurricular

  • You know how I know Athiesm is trending? Whenever someone recites biblical verses on public transportation, everyone else groans.
  • If you're a young lady about that money, then why are you vying so hard for the attention of guys skipping bus fare.

Prometheus Notes

  • Previews first, Rock of Ages is movie star karaoke, Total Recall does not need a reboot, and someone stop Tim Burton.
  • Challenge Michael Fassbender to a game of basketball, dribble looks suspect, a game of HORSE would suffice.
  • Future drugs are awesome, seem to lack any detrimental side effects, can't have them soon enough.
  • Black people avoid space like large urban swimming pools, Idris didn't even take his shirt off, sorry ladies.
  • Wanted a specific character to be maimed until we caught a glimpse of her flat stomach and toned body, then I just wanted her.
  • All this talk about Charlize Theron's pushups and she only did five half pushups, Michelle Obama would crush her.
  • Not sure how I feel about challenging Darwin, especially when a space penis evolves into a space vagina.
  • To this day, after countless video games have instructed generations, the notion of strafing escapes more escapees...
  • Curiosity makes us human and only kills cats ... and I'm a robot. Final score, 2 out of 3 somethings, that's all folks.

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