Jonny Lee Miller acting like Robert Downey Junior acting as Sherlock Holmes, we're watching the pilot episode of Elementary on CBS; having already read most every Sherlock story to date, let the complaints begin...

• Tiny Lucy Liu uncomfortably jogging #ouch #knees #cringe the series begins with fraudulent athleticism; take note of the *being something you're not* omen.
• We're supposed to believe this gentleman is a junkie from *junkie jail* due to alcohol abuse? For children much?
• Lucy Liu's phone rang, deep within a 42nd Street subway station, none of the cast or crew lives in New York? #unnecessary
• Trying not to hate the main character, because he's supposed to be this annoying, Watson on the other hand #ugh
• For the love of monologues, if a woman's name is Paula James, do you call her James or Paul? #stupid
• If the mailman saw the body through the window, why did we walk through a room AND hallway to see it on camera?
• While Dr. Gregory House would've appreciated that puzzle, please #cancel this show nonetheless, thank you.

There may be hope for this franchise elsewhere, all indications point towards a superior BBC product...

Looking forward to the debates, please enjoy my notes.

The Beginning

• Having watched the #rnc on @cnn, perusing @foxnews coverage of the #dnc now; Hannity is immediately, unintelligibly smug #republican
• Hearing @foxnews @hannityshow use the words, "Let me educate you..." is the definition of irony #dnc
• #dnc @foxnews @hannityshow conversation: Guest says, *this and -* Hannity interrupts, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!
• #dnc @foxnews commercials are presented in a large *picture in picture* format, advertisers pay for this? http://t.co/cSkL0Rc5
• #dnc without airing speeches, the @hannityshow is about multiple people appearing poised while simultaneously speaking loudly, back to @cnn
• #dnc to paraphrase Sandra Fluke's speech, in six months, we will be led by a man who fights for women, or against women, now we choose which
• #dnc @cnn correspondent blocks the aisle as she discusses Fire Marshall procedures ensuring clear aisles...
• #dnc Elizabeth Warren turned me off the instant she snapped to quiet her adoring crowd, Massachusetts must be full of masochists
• #dnc WAIT, HOLD THE FUCK ON! Why was he introduced as PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON? That's some fucked up shit from the home team #fb
• #dnc I want Barack Obama to be the next President of the United States of America? Why are you making me critical of you Bill Clinton?
• #dnc is Bill Clinton running for office?
• #dnc SWEAR the crowd just chanted *FOUR MORE YEARS* at Bill Clinton ... for Bill Clinton.
• #dnc teleprompter keeps pausing as Bill Clinton keeps speaking extemporaneously ... used a large word in a tweet @redstripe Hooray Beer!
• #dnc that excessively LONG shot of that eagerly gazing woman even made her feel uncomfortable; she was eight when Clinton was President
• #dnc keys to Clinton charm, thanks everyone, thanks his opponent, promotes cooperation, compliments wives, cites facts, shares beliefs, ...
• #dnc okay, okay, key to Clinton charm is simple, be Bill Clinton.
• #dnc Bill Clinton just looked at the teleprompter for a second with a confused look, those words aren't better than these words
• #dnc Bill Clinton addressed the #gop #rnc attacks, the elections are over; call your bookie, bet your iPhone 5 money on @barackobama
• #dnc election season speech rankings so far: Bill Clinton > Ted Strickland > Mitt Romney > Michelle Obama > Deval Patrick > Clint Eastwood
• #dnc how can Bill Clinton irritate you? He rubbed me the wrong way to start, and now he's convinced me to look forward to gray hair
• #dnc if you want things that good people would ideally want, then you must vote @barackobama! - Bill Clinton
• #dnc if ALIENS came to earth and asked for it's leader, even Russia and China would turn to Bill Clinton for representation
• #dnc heard Bill Clinton and @barackobama weren't exactly friends, their awkward embrace confirms as much, and yet ... the #RESPECT
• #dnc someone mentioned as much and confirmed my initial arousal, that speech turned me on...
• #dnc @barackobama needs Bill #Clinton to pull him over the finish line, and Bill #Clinton needs to be needed #arithmetic

The End

• #dnc @cnn referencing 2008 election information while discussing @barackobama's current ratings, and @mittromney http://t.co/dHRKThFt
• Choosing substance over style, politics over fashion, #DNC over @fnonyc; enjoy the entertainment, I'll deliver the information #fb
• #dnc @marcanthony sang an original rendition of the American anthem, is a God in his native land, was married to @jlo, is about that life.
• #dnc Jill Biden has been a full-time English professor at a Community College for thirty years, including the last four #professional
• #rnc neglected to mention military veterans, #dnc over compensated
• #dnc Joe Biden describes his wife as the love of his life and the life of his love, like the antithesis of #vma2012 female misogyny #fb
• #dnc listening to Joe Biden boils down to anticipating gaffes, this speech places somewhere between Deval Patrick and Clint Eastwood
• #dnc Joe Biden just tried calming a calm crowd
• #dnc Osama Bin Laden is dead, and General Motors is alive @joebiden @barackobama
• #dnc ask Osama bin Laden if he's better off now than he was four years ago @johnkerry #late #quote
• #dnc gambling references continue, who are these people betting against America? Where can we wager on what? @joebiden
• #dnc Malia and Sasha Obama have to go to school in the morning, on a Friday, after missing #FNO @fnonyc #vma2012 #scholars
• #dnc would love if more women dressed their daughters like the Obama girls than #vma2012 wayward sex symbols #personal #thoughts #fb
• #dnc @barackobama never pretended the path was quick or easy; you didn't elect me to tell you what you want to hear, you wanted the truth
• People won't realize this is history until they're helping their grand children with their homework and see @barackobama #dnc @derrickjaxn
• Republican prescription: take two tax cuts, roll back some regulations, and call us in the morning #dnc @barackobama @nuevoestilo
• #dnc we're not moving backwards, we're moving #forward2012, that's why I'm running for re-election @barackobama
• #dnc ten years ago I promised to end the war in Iraq, we did. More promises, we have.You sit, you stand. You applaud, I pose @barackobama
• #dnc @barackobama just channeled his inner Bill Clinton, no party has a monopoly on wisdom #compromise #arithmetic
• #dnc @barackobama will never turn Medicare into a voucher, reviving the fire and resolve of Franklin Delano Roosevelt
• #dnc did you see the Arab American Democrat? She held a sign, it read *Arab American Democrat* and said #VOLUMES
• #dnc @barackobama ! > ? @mittromney #easy #simple #obvious
• #dnc @barackobama could lead Moses with that flurry at the end #forward2012
• #dnc final election season speech rankings @barackobama / Bill Clinton > Ted Strickland > Mitt Romney > Michelle Obama > ... > Eastwood
• #dnc @barackobama clearly took advantage of closing convention season, answered all attacks, and left #rnc in doubt

My notes from the final night of the Republican National Convention, served in reverse order.

• @barackobama following the #rnc and @thedailyshow interview w/ Michael Steele, your task is clear, invite Ron Paul to speak at the #dnc #fb
• #rnc @thedailyshow Michael Steele, these conventions are largely INFOMERCIALS, not to get into the nuts and bolts of arguments.
• We must thank Clint Eastwood for revealing there is a President Obama that only Republicans can see @thedailyshow #rnc #late
• ... will the Democratic National Convention be equally reminiscent of a @wwe event?
• ... there's a problem if the night @barackobama was elected, remains your fondest memory of his presidency #truth
• ... the Romney-Ryan families charge the stage with "Living in America" blaring to end the #rnc
• ... @klout @googlechrome influence extension reveals @barackobama > @mittromney
• ... the Willard equation: champion wealthy success, stress opposition shortcomings, outline vague solutions.
• ... was Willard this critical of Bush about leaving office worse than he found it?
• ... who poses better than Willard Mitt Romney during pauses? This well of #rhetoric is truly impressive.
• ... Willard has all the traits of a winner, from his dress, to his smile, to his gestures and speech; Democrats are on the clock
• ... per Clint Eastwood's claim against lawyers for President, Romney has a law degree from Harvard #quit
• ... that awkward moment Marco Rubio receives an applause because he can speak Spanish
• ... watching Marco Rubio wait for applause is uncomfortable, someone needs to adjust the applaud cue cards.
• ... Marco Rubio's grand father knows how special America is, apart from the rest of the world, because he used to live in Cuba
• ... listening to Clint Eastwood discuss politics reminds me of the Chappelle joke about Ja Rule's opinion during September 11th
• ... watching surprise guest Clint Eastwood fumble through PRESIDENT Obama insults is worse than watching rappers try to act
• ... RNC sponsored video showed a loving family man, effective businessman, convincing leader, generally without fault #rhetoric
• ... swore everyone meant Taylor Swift was performing, still don't know how this guy won American Idol, weak field that season?
• ... best part of Paul Ryan's speech was hearing how he was carved out of a piece of wood by an old Italian man named Geppetto